donkeyAt a point in my life I lived in Muguga  for a year. On market days you would see donkeys walking around their business, I’m yet to see a place with more donkeys. These donkeys however were heavy laden (J that sounds biblical). If it were possible wakenya wangepatia punda shida wabebe pia. Now you would be seeing a donkey walk around with the burden of corruption neatly strapped on its back, hiked maize flour prices, or wait for it… mashakura!

I mean, white sparkly teeth! I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something ’cause that’s one dazzling smile you got there! And do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know something, you’re… ~Donkey from Shrek

This one time I saw a poor donkey carrying loads of hay on the one side and gallons of water on the other. I could have sworn that I saw a tear drop cascading down its cheek. Muguga is a sloppy area and so you would see them come up the road from KARI towards the market place. There is a steep slope I would say, I mean I was a fat lazy girl, that slope looked like a mountain to me and I was free of any burden. Sembuse punda aliyebeba mizigo?

They would walk ever so slowly that you find yourself silently doing a countdown of when they would collapse under the weight of the load they are carrying. Their limits were outstanding. I mean each day they would wake up knowing that they would be carrying loads possibly thrice their own body weight. And yet they still wake up.

I couldn’t help then but admire these beasts. I still admire these poor beasts of burden. Since my government has been dishing out awards, I would like to nominate all donkeys across Kenya for the Order of the Grand Warriors. They deserve it. Forget those HSC fetes.

I pray for that thing that wakes the donkey up every morning. That thing that lets the donkey allow its master to beat it senseless and not bite the living daylights out of him. That thing that lets the donkey carry a load thrice its body weight in size and bulk and not just slump down and take a break from it all. Most amazing thing, the donkey does all this without braying (Let me come clean, I learnt that donkeys bray… today… I always thought they neighed too…).

I baptize that thing… the zhing

As a middle-aged adult, sometimes you carry on too much. You have a load from the workplace ranging from demotivation to apathy, you have a load from home, anything from financial struggles to unruly children, not to mention personal loads ranging from loneliness to depression. Then the societal expectations of you clashing hard with your own capabilities and needs. Do not forget the government failures that directly affect your wellbeing for instance insecurity, lack of proper infrastructure and I have to mention, incessant industrial actions.

You are expected to take it all and turn it to bubbles and balloons so that you are able to live just one more day without hurting someone. Many people walking the streets of Nairobi are ticking time bombs. They just need that trigger. That straw…

When I first heard the saying the straw that broke the camel’s back as a young girl, I thought it was ludicrous. I thought, just how feeble is the camel that a mere straw can break its back? I did not know that decades later I would be waking up to pray;

Lead me not into temptation and deliver me from the straw…

That straw could be anything man. Belieee me. It could be a stranger physically rubbing shoulders with you; it could be your son talking back at you; It could be the makanga shoving you; It could be your boss make an unfair statement; it could be your mother making a correction; it could be anything man… It could be the government announcing the rise of electricity levy, si they just cut the unga subsidies not two days ago? Anything and BOOM… Shit hits the darn fan.

Look at the donkey, his loyalty, his perseverance, his passion, his tolerance and his attitude. That’s all you need. Get the zhing… adopt it, marry it… woleva mehn.. nobarre’s judging you… but just get the zhing.

Wake up in the morning and make an intentional decision to be tolerant, to be loyal, to persevere and to be passionate. The world will read your aura and the world will present you with better situations.

Try to make that conscious decision to not be a tool, to not be THE straw.

Don’t be the straw man.


Lipstick Notes


100 stories to go…

If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.
~ Dale Carnegie


All you can hear is laughter.

Male and Female laughter, high and low pitched, shrieky, deep… all kinds of laughter that made for a beautiful sound to my ears.

Seated around a table, actually four tables that have been joined together to better accommodate the large crowd, a group of young professionals shared jokes, stories and lots of laughter.

I walked in late, the ambience was awesome and I stood at a distance and the one thing I thought, I will miss this people.


Every successful individual knows that his or her achievement depends on a community of persons working together. ~ Paul Ryan


They dedicated their after work time to appreciate me. (and a couple of my colleagues who are also moving on… but this is my story)

I wouldn’t be the person I am today in my career without these beautiful, mosaic crowd of my peers and seniors.

They have molded me by teaching, training, working with and supporting me all the years and here they were selflessly taking time off their rest hours to gather round and appreciate me.

The first eight years in my professional life and here I was saying goodbye to it.

Mixed emotions… I was happy I was moving but sad that this is all I knew.

They been my family for the better part of the last eight years, and one thing is for sure, each of them represented a print in my memories.

Some of my very special and lasting friendships were born here…


The making of friends who are real friends, is the best token we have of a man’s success in life.
~Edward E. Hale


Anyway as a gift I received a book, Chicken Soup for The Soul; On Being a Parent. 101 Stories. (I am a parent) – They got me a gift!! Aren’t these people awesome?

I managed to read the foreword and the first story; I have 100 stories to left to read.

And it dawned on me; This was just story number one, 100 more to go…

I have just but done one story in my career. Just like any foundation, it took time to be complete Eight years of hard work, great teams, awesome friendships, great customers , ridiculous queries and  of course ridiculous demands… but Eight years nonetheless. Eight years of learning, of being mentored and of being molded. Eight years of small and big triumphs, of satisfaction and of success. Eight years of growth in my personal, physical and career life. EIGHT YEARS.

My Story Number one is Eight years long… A milestone.

On to my Story Number 2 through to Number 101.


Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
~ Pauline R Kezer

This is to the next 100 stories…



The Pain. The Pen. Life.

It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on. ~Nicholas Sparks

 Every time I sit down to write I realize that I am afraid the post may be too long, too open, too bitter or all of the above.

So today I want to thank the almighty because after a very long time I got the courage to write. I am not a good writer or even blogger by all standards, but I got the courage to get out of myself and look at life from outside of myself and write however plain.

So today am in traffic and with the car radio off I could practically hear myself think. That was despite the many tuk tuks that were around me, the crazy honking drivers and generally the noise of traffic.

What is life about?

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.~ Soren Kierkegaard 

Life is about giving and receiving. It’s in the giving that we appreciate others and it’s in the receiving that we feel appreciated. While all along I thought Life was about love, happiness and wealth. I am ready to admit that I was wrong.

All three aspects above are as a result of giving and receiving.

We often tend to give too much, or too little and receive too little where we gave too much or too much where we gave too little.

Recently I realized that I was okay in giving, I was happy giving and I gave whole heartedly, I was even willing to give more, But reality dawned on me that as much as I gave I never got back. Even in small doses. And I realized that it was not worth it.

You only go where you are appreciated. And you go quickly. Because Life only makes sense when you are appreciated and you get more zest to appreciate others.

Humanity detects that when you realise that a person or a cause can benefit more from someone elses gifts or givin then its only proper for you to allow them to receive wholly and to be happy because they can give back to them in appreciation.

You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles ~ C. Joybell. C

With Love,


There Is Such a Thing As A Good ‘Bye’…

Today let’s talk those people who hurt us so bad. Those who made us cry, who made us think we will never ever love again, or be kind again or care again.

Dear Earthlings, I have a wardrobe full of those people.

Every so often I open that wardrobe look in and smile and wonder; what in the f* hell was I thinking?

It could be an ex boyfriend, a family member (an ex- if only that were possible) or even an ex- BFF.

To be honest sometimes I think if I was given a chance to relive my life I would steer clear of these people. I doubt it. People who hurt me only made me stronger.

Those who broke my heart opened my heart to loving people who are worth my time.

Those who stole from me only taught me the importance of financial planning and sound investment.

Those who wrapped my kindness in a bag full of shit and threw it in a pit latrine, oh those ones taught me the biggest lesson, walking away from doing good and not expecting anything in return. That is the best kind of kindness people.

 So today I was very thankful to all these people. In the end they served to make me a better person.

Thank you for saying goodbye
Making me cry
Leaving me here all alone in the night
You saved my life, that beautiful night
You said goodbye

Thank you for saying goodbye
Found someone new
Yes I’m so grateful, I owe that to you
Told me to tell you he’s thankful too
For saying goodbye
~Deborah Cox Saying Goodbye

If the loser had not broken my heart I would still be in a unfulfilling relationship. And I would not know the love that I know right now… Oh God…Bye bye Baby… thank you for saying goodbye.

If the people had not stolen from me I would still be playing around with money instead of putting it to good investments. Bye bye baby… thank you for saying goodbye.

If they had not taken my kindness for weakness, I would still be holding on to lost causes, I would not know how to really give. Bye bye baby …. Thank you for saying goodbye.

If they had not betrayed my trust, I would not have made true friendships…Oh Bye Bye Baby….Thank you for saying goodbye…

*flying kiss to y’all 🙂

Lipstick Notes

If Dolphins and/or Sharks came to check us humans out …

In my place of work we have a birthday tradition; we all contribute some amount and buy a cake to celebrate the birthday. So come your birthday we try as much as possible and make it a surprise.

I was born on 26th December; this makes the celebration of my birthday from the office extremely hard as for the last 4 years I have been on leave around that time. Anyway that notwithstanding I always contribute towards my other colleagues birthdays and up until recently I was always the one to call the cake house to make orders.

Anyway a very dear, bubbly and wonderful woman always made her birthday very special. Shewould come in and the first thing she would say is ‘is there something different about this day dear?” and she would go on and on about how she can’t wait for us to surprise (as if it was a surprise anymore) her with the cake…and enquiring whether or not we have already collected the money to pay for the cake…

It was so funny and yet we all loved it.

She used to make the office so lively, remember once we took a boat ride looking for dolphins… (Why do humans do that? Go into animals habitat to look for them? I mean do we see dolphins in the streets of New York or Mombasa for that matter taking a walk looking and musing at humans?).

Because  of my healthy fear of large water bodies and all, I was so scared  that I got an asthma attack (it’s my most embarrassing moment to date). She held me through out and when we got ashore and I was much better she kept saying, “You guys think I was scared? Hell No I was not! I would have thrown you to my back and swam ashore, I aint scared of nothing!!!.” It was scary alright, my colleague was so scared for me that she got a panic attack…

Sadly she left our company.

Today when I was writing someone an email and indicated the date as 17th something in my head clicked…and my! it’s her birthday…

So I called her to wish her a happy birthday and as always she was just happy and bubbly, she asks me OH MY GOD how could you remember? Like anyone can forget :-0

Anyways that got me thinking how much humans need each other, I mean it’s not my birthday but just hearing her voice talk about when she was here and laughing at her cartoon ways has uplifted my spirits in a special way…

And she is quite special in my life too, I owe a lot of life lessons to her… Happy Birthday Mother in Law…

This is my appreciation for being there with me… even when you had better things to do…Happy Birthday once again!

I am not young but I feel young. The day I feel old, I will go to bed and stay there. J’aime la vie! I feel that to live is a wonderful thing.
Coco Chanel