Looking on in from the outside…

“You see, even though back then Barack was a senator and a presidential candidate, to me, he was still the guy who’d picked me up for our dates in a car that was so rusted out, I could actually see the pavement going by in a hole in the passenger side door. He was the guy whose proudest possession was a coffee table he’d found in a dumpster, and whose only pair of decent shoes was half a size too small.” – Michelle Obama

Am not sure to what extent married peoples and even dating peoples  support their spouses but I know it would pay and then some.

One may ask me exactly what do you mean by ‘supporting your man’?

I have my own small ways and understandings on the subject. I tend to agree with the idealogy that in a normal relationship men should be the head of the relatonship. But I also know that Women form the backbone, the support structure and in some cases the brains in the union.

Many women do not seem to understand this about relationships. Most women work too hard to be trampled upon by their spouses only because they did not realise their full potential and specifications in the relationship.

Sometime back, my friends and I had an animated discussion about the importance of a woman in a man’s path. and one of them emphatically points out some men in teh society who do not necessarily have wives or steady relationships with women. I replied without batting an eyelid, ” then I think had he gotten a wife or a meaningful relationship, then he would have been more succesful and more fulfilled.” and i still think so.

“And I didn’t think that it was possible, but let me tell you today, I love my husband even more than I did four years ago, even more than I did 23 years ago, when we first met.” – Michelle Obama

  Believing in his dreams and helping to facilitate them is one such type of support.

  Knowing what to deal with outside of the bedroom and what not to is also a type of support.

 Knowing his weaknesses and positioning our strengths to align them is also a very good way to support our men. 

I do not know much about Michelle Obama and her home and I might agree with suggestions that the whole ‘family’ picture could be stage managed to win the hearts of many voters, however I know Barrack was not born a president, he was a young man like any other man at some point. He had dreams, ambitions and uncertainities. And he had  a good education and some exposure.

I strongly believe that when he got himself Michelle thats the point when he got some meat on the bone that was his planand that’s when he got focus.

“He’s the same man who, when our girls were first born, would anxiously check their cribs every few minutes to ensure they were still breathing, proudly showing them off to everyone we knew. You see, that’s the man who sits down with me and our girls for dinner nearly every night, patiently answering questions about issues in the news, strategizing about middle school friendships.” -Michelle Obama

I  bet they have been through some tough times. But I also know they have been ways and structures to deal with their issues. To get them to that office, Michelle has had to make a few concessions, has had to be curt, has had to be cruel to him sometimes and has also had to sacrifice on a lot of her own dreams. Her eyes were on the prize and the price was not small.

I am sure Barrack Obama has some bullshit too…like any other man. She has known to deal with that bullshit.

If you offer the kind of support that your man needs, there is no telling where you will go. Sometimes we need to dig deep to get his plan. sometimes we might have to help them formulate their plan. Most times we do this and let them believe it was them all along. 

They could be heads of the houses but they damn straight know we are the backbone.

“Well, today, after so many struggles and triumphs and moments that have tested my husband in ways I never could have imagined, I have seen firsthand that being president doesn’t change who you are. No, it reveals who you are.” – Michelle Obama


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