I Refuse to Grow Ol…UP

I am still very, very annoyed that I had to grow up.

This weekend for instance I will be home alone. Don’t get any ideas now, I normally live with my younger sister and this weekend she will be travelling to the City to visit my older sister.

So back to the whole story, I will be all alone!!

When I was a little younger this would be taken as permission…no no that sounds too formal… a ticket to paint the house and the town red.

I would have called a few friends over, arranged to have all sorts of alcoholic drinks picked by my boys from the Officer’s Mess at the Navy Barracks (This is the only place one can get alcoholic drinks at a very good rate.)

We would then make ox tail soup, some good cocktails – am being polite here, they were lethal cocktails and then just relax the weekend away.

Of course by relaxing the weekend away I actually mean move from one bar to the next nightclub to the next restaurant to the next beach the whole damn freaking weekend.

Come Monday you would think I had three f* trucks run me over one after the other. My breath alone would kill a cloud of houseflies from intoxication. Oh Jeez my sweat would have been refined and used as some type of alcoholic cleanser…like a bleach of some sort. The kind of bleaches used to clean up a house after some exotic spy has assassinated some exotic person in a Million Dollar house…just like in the movies..

My body would ache in a million different places with no apologies whatsoever the knees would crack if I so much as threatened to wake up from my seat…then the mother of all… my voice would disappear… it’s almost like it goes to hide from the mistreatment or something…

One would think that I would use the next weekend to do some good as I try to redeem myself…Nope that won’t happen. Next weekend the very same cycle will happen sometimes it starts as early as Wednesday!

I was a sucker for punishment.

But Bloody hell what did I have to lose?

So Today again am being left behind and my biggest plan is a sleep over at my pal’s with some wine ~perhaps~ and some cable TV.

Someone come to my rescue, AmI getting that grown up? – I totally refuse to use the word OLD – eeeeuuuwwww!!!!!

I totally refuse…

I will still go to dance – Nipple Hard Dancing, Gyrating the hips in an obscene manner Dancing, bending over to even the slowest music Dancing,  but the move i miss most…Dry humping the air like a crazed dog on heat… in the rain… by the beach…in a small t-shirt and tiny shorts and am going to scream my lungs out as I sing like a possessed woman all this while under the influence of some substance ….

And if any of my friends agrees to go with me then they will double up as a photographer too and I promise to post you photos…of me gone wild…



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: