Being grown up is a con…

You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again.
~Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762

 

It’s been raining in my town. Real rain. Liters and liters of water from the heavens. As a child I used to love the sound of rain as it fell hard on our iron sheets roof. I would wake up early in the morning and go out of the bedroom under the guise of filling water containers with rain water.

 
I was a very naughty, little girl – I have used the word little very loosely…I was not by any chance little. So despite my respiratory challenges I would still find a chance to dance in the rain. Really dance in the rain. I would risk being thoroughly beaten by my mother, or being in a sick-bed or an asthma attack to just dance in the rain. How amazing was that?

 
The rain would fall hard on the iron sheets and will go through a collection channel into a drum that was strategically placed to collect rain water… I would move the water drum/ water basin and soak myself completely in that stream of water.

Childhood is the world of miracle or of magic: it is as if creation rose luminously out of the night, all new and fresh and astonishing. Childhood is over the moment things are no longer astonishing. When the world gives you a feeling of “déjà vu,” when you are used to existence, you become an adult.
~EUGENE IONESCO, Present Past / Past Present

 

My Momma will then come out and threaten to end my life, or take me back where I came from(Dont ask me, I still wonder where that is and if it really crossed her mind that I would soon learn the gory details of how she got me. eeeewwww!) or an even worse fate if I do not go back to the house and keep warm : – ). You would understand that this is fairly common in Africa and no one, absolutely no one, has failed to thank their mothers for these threats. Even in silence.

 
This would be repeated everyday for the course of the rainy season.

 
So today I was leaving the house for work, and while I was trying to reach the car I was rained on. I shook all the way to work and when I got to the office I was rained on as I ran from the car to the door. Again I have been shaking ever since. My breathing is not as regular and am scared to go out in the rain again…

 
What Happened?

I guess when it comes down to it
Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up
These are the best days of our lives
The only thing that matters is just following your heart
And eventually you’ll finally get it right.
~The Ataris

 

I will gladly tell you what happened. A very sad thing happened and it’s called change. Some may call it growing up so I will humor them.

 
I grew up and by growing up I lost the abandon necessary to fuel my youth. I lost the carelessness necessary to help me realize my happiness and I lost me. I lost my person. I lost the ability to look beyond the threats and the boulders along the way into my goal that is happiness. Instead I become fixated on the boulders, on the threats, on the barriers and never even once look at what I desire the most. Happiness.

 
As adults we keep thinking, “If I try to get ABCD I might be stung by EFGH”. Instead we should be thinking like children, “I might get stung by EFGH but I will have gotten ABCD”.

 
So I will challenge myself that come Saturday, and it’s still raining, I will go to the beach and dance in the rain. I will play with the water and finally at the end of it all I will go home get warm under covers with a big mug of hot chocolate.

 
Then, only then, will I smile that smile of satisfaction.

 
That one that’s says, Wonder if I will get sick now that I already played with rain water…

LipstickNotes

Advertisements

2 Comments

  1. Tweets said,

    AMpTue, 24 Jul 2012 09:59:32 +000059Tuesday 17, 2012 at 9:59 am

    🙂 he he he sometimes i watch hours and hours of cartoons in reckless abandon, not caring about the chores 🙂 trying to reclaim some of me that i have lost in being all grown up 🙂 but then after the indulgence, the chores are still there!!!! Waiting!!!!

    • AMpTue, 24 Jul 2012 10:10:35 +000010Tuesday 17, 2012 at 10:10 am

      I know… Right? Its like a hard slap to reality.
      Most times I play with my nieces and nephews…completely at their level…with all the cheating and screaming and beautiful childish squirms…i forget myself and then when am about to jump and reach for a stuck ball, my size 38DD fight back and i go like, “oh my bad!”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: