With a tear in my eye…

I have been MIA.

I have no justification whatsoever to explain my absence. However like the last kicks of a dying animal I have an excuse, and if you stop with your judging you will see it’s a damn good reason.

I have been overworked; running around with no hope of ever getting a Midas touch. I would really have to get a Midas hand with a little bit of a twist… instead of turning things to gold… I turn them to diamond… Now that would be really cool.

So where was I? Oh yeah that I have been away. In the time of my absence a lot has happened and a lot has changed.

Last night I had to choose between maintaining someone as a love interest and hurting their feelings and being their friend and perpetually having to take care of them, see them constantly and never seeing their faults.

They pretty much helped me choose the latter.

And I could not sleep the whole night, I even had nightmares… all I wanted to do so bad was just undo their hurt and make them so happy without the many issues that love interests bring about.

I realize sometimes you have to make a choice because someone means so much to you and sometimes you have to make a choice because you mean so much to yourself. In the grand scheme of things one’s interests should always be secondary, that’s what I was brought up knowing. However when you are on the ground, when you are in the thick of things, when it’s your mess, you have to put your interests in the fore front.

While I understand that in some avenues that is the mother reason why our country is an ailing country, it could be a good thing;especially when your interest encompasses other people’s interests.

With a tear in my eye I write, even when it hurts most but it has to be done to save one’s humanity, one’s ability to feel and one’s opportunity to love again then it has to be done.



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